Spatchcock... heh, heh, heh, yeah

OK, now it is time to prove your worth. The entire rib cages need to removed from all the birds. Make sure that your kitchen knife is really sharp. Start with the chicken and then the duck so that way by the time you get to the turkey you are a pro. No need to freak out.

All you are going to do is make one straight cut down the back through the skin and meat until you hit the spine. Then you are going to cut the meat away from the rib cage and bones on one side. When you hit a leg or wing, cut through the socket of the ball joint leaving the bone in the leg but freeing the rib cage. Do the same thing on the other side so that when you are done the rib cage is totally free and the bird is laid out flat like a book. If you hack to death don't worry but remember that you want to have mastered this process by the time you get to the turkey because the turkey must stay in one unmarred piece. For a more detailed explanation check it out here.

Keep all the bones to make stock and throw them in a big pot. Cover with water, bring to a boil, and simmer overnight. You will want this stock for the stuffing and to make gravy.

If you are looking at these photos and you are a professional chef, (I'm talking about you, Heidi and Ray) you will have already noticed that I have the knife skills of a blind woodsman. Please forgive me. I hang my head in shame.

Depending on your cooking schedule, either proceed to assemble the turducken, or throw the spatchcocked birds back into your brine. Change your frozen jugs to keep everything cool.