Zack Van R.I.P.

So yesterday was fairly eventful. It was the one year anniversary of when I cut off my beautiful dreadlocked mane of glory at Sandra's birthday party. Here is a before picture...

Baby Eleanor and me chillin' at our GQ shoot...

and here is an after pic.

I would like to propose at toast to my follicular hero, Kramer...

Yesterday Joanna, Sophia and Pax were also in a car accident in our faithful 94 Ford Aerostar minivan, which the girls had dubbed "the Zack Van". (Affectionately named after Zack de la Rocha... (the antenna was bent in a Z shape and our license plate ended in RGE).


Before you panic, everyone is just fine. No one was hurt at all, and today we took everyone to the doctor's and chiropractor's for thorough check overs, and everyone is OK. But the Zack Van didn't fair so well and he no longer looks like the picture below whatsoever.
Well, he would if you removed the enormous dent in the passenger door shaped like a tool-loaded, speeding construction van, and if you replaced all the shattered glass, and if you could still open the sliding door, and if you put the front bumper back on, and stuffed the driver's airbag back in the steering wheel, and if you repaired the crushed front right rim and flat tire. Obviously, all that is not going to happen, and the Zack Van is gone for good.

I'm having difficulty processing all my emotions about yesterday. Above all, I am eternally grateful that my family is safe and healthy. I am very thankful for all our emergency services who were able to care for my loved ones with such kindness, gentleness (the firemen even gave Sophia a teddy bear!), and professionalism and for the invention of child car seats. (Make sure to educate yourself about the BC Paramedic Strike). I would also like to give a special shout out to Chris, Hillary, Stu, Jacqui, Mike, Gordie, Peter, and Sandra for taking such good care of us.

But I am still working through my feelings of helplessness and loss on top of the reality check about what really matters most in life. I wish I could celebrate the safety of my wife and kids without having to deal with the business of doctors and insurance companies and liability. And I feel robbed and cheated.

I kinda liked the Zack Van. I have never been a "car guy", but Joanna's cousin, Kelly, and her family gave us this van in September and helped us with $$$ to insure it. Their kindness and generosity was overwhelming and was a huge blessing to us as a family. The Zack Van was not new, the roof leaked, and my kids had done short work of getting cracker crumbs everywhere, but it had provided a new level of freedom and convenience to us that made our busy lives so much easier. It was also a sign of provision, hope, faithfulness, and goodness to me. And now it is gone. The really ironic thing is that in morning six hours before the accident I got a $50 parking ticket out in front of our house and Joanna also went and got an $85 massage for her tense shoulders.

Obviously I know that the world is not going to fall apart because I no longer have use of an aging chunk of rolling fiberglass, but I'm just trying to work through all of it, d'ya know what I mean? I guess the lesson here, kids, is to be grateful for whatcha got before it's gone and to cherish the ones you love every day. Can I have an Amen, brothers and sisters?

And now this next one goes out to the Zack Van.

We didn't have a lot of time together, buddy, but it was a good time. Thank you for your faithful service to our family and may you rest in peace.

And because this is supposed to be a food blog, here is a collection of recipes taken from "Being Dead Is No Excuse: The Official Southern Ladies Guide to Hosting the Perfect Funeral".
When you are chowing down make sure that you pour one out for the Zack Van.

Rainy Day Malaysian Chicken Stew

The other day it was raining here in the 'Couv (not all that unusual...) and it was just the kind of gray miserable day when you wanted to be home, wearing jammies, and eating something good, warm, and yummy. So one thing led to another and soon the jammies were on and the yummy Asian food was on it's way to our bellies. Just in case you are having a jammy day, I wanted to share this recipe with you. I guarantee that it will make you feel much better.

Speaking of jammies and desperately needing some yummy Asian food, my nephew Mason has been in and out of the hospital lately while he continues to kick leukemia's ass. Although he is only 14, Mason already is a ninja in the kitchen and can do some serious Asian yumminess throwdown. Mason, this episode of DIY Gourmet goes out to you...

Mason, demonstrating a few of his Ninja moves

Rainy Day Malaysian Chicken Stew
Ingredients

2 lbs chicken, cubed
3 cloves garlic, chopped
1 thumb ginger, grated
3 onions, sliced
6 cups water
1 cup dried, chopped shitake mushrooms reconstituted in 2 cups boiling water
2 lbs potatoes, cubed
1/2 cup soy
2/3 cup miso paste
2 tablespoons brown sugar
4 tablespoons cornstarch dissolved in 1 cup cold water

Throw first 4 ingredients in hot wok with a big glug of oil. Fry until browned.
Add remaining ingredients except for the cornstarch and bring to a boil until the potatoes are cooked. Add cornstarch to thicken and adjust seasoning to taste. Serve over rice and pray for Mason's speedy recovery.

Mason, here are some more Ninjas in the kitchen, just to make your day.

Asian Fish Paper Parcels

Tonight we had a bunch of friends over and Joanna was able to score a smokin' good deal on some salmon, so I was feeling inspired. But I didn't have a lot of time to marinade or BBQ so I decided to steam the fish in newspaper. "Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?", you say. Yep, first you smear delicious goo and fresh herbs all over your fish, and then you wrap it in newspaper, soak it in water, and roast it in the oven. The fish essentially steams inside the paper and gets a gentle and subtle flavour from your additions. Because I live in Vancouver, and because even when my fridge is basically empty I always have strange Asian condiments around, and because I just got back from Thailand, I decided to go with a Southeast Asian groove. Here it is, y'all...

Asian Steamed Fish Paper Parcels
Ingredients
1 whole fish (salmon, tilapia, mahi mahi, or anything else you can get your hands on), cleaned
1 fist fresh cilantro
2 big thumbs of ginger
6 cloves fresh garlic
2 stalks fresh lemongrass
2 tablespoons peanut butter
2 tablespoons miso paste
1 tablespoon sesame oil
1 tablespoon rice wine vinegar
newspaper
stapler, or kitchen twine, or packing/duct tape if you are really desperate

Assembling the fish and parcel

Instructions
Using your favorite, sharp, big-ass kitchen knife, cut slits of both sides of the fish 2 cms apart. (This will allow your flavour goo and herbs more access to the meat.) In a food processor, whizzola the cilantro, garlic, ginger, and lemongrass into oblivion. In a small bowl, combine peanut butter, miso, oil, and vinegar until smooth.

The parcel, steamed, and cut open

Spread out a moderately thick sheath of newspaper. Sprinkle 1/3 of the herb mixture down on the paper. Using a spoon, smear a bit of your flavour goo on one side of the fish, making sure to rub it into the slit cuts. Place fish goo side down onto of the herbs. Spoon more goo into the belly cavity and rub some herbs in there as well. Finally, smear the rest of the goo on top of the fish, rubbing it into the cuts and sprinkling the last of your herb mixture on top.

Oh yeah!

Roll the fish up in the newspaper and fold the ends twice so that way steam will not escape. Seal the parcel however you can, hopefully with staples or kitchen twine, but I was desperate and used packing tape (yes, it does melt). Preheat the oven to 400 and soak the parcel in cold water in the sink for 5 minutes. Put the parcel on a baking sheet and bang it in the oven until it is done. Use a meat thermometer if you are sketchy, but I did mine for about 45 min. When it is done, pull it out, cut it open, and let the feasting begin! While you are enjoying your Asian aquatic yumminess, trip out on this...

Easy Miso Soup

I rarely have time to think these days, much less spend a long preparing a meal. With the demands of being a super-daddy that I face every day, relaxing moments are sometimes hard to come by. So today I would like to present to you some simple-zen-in-a-bowl...
Easy Miso Soup
Ingredients
- 2 litres H2O
- 1/3 cup miso paste
- 1 pack (2 teaspoons) bonito soup base powder (available at Japanese grocery stores)
- 1 cube chicken bullion.

Throw in pot. Boil. Stir. Eat.

(If you want to get crazy you can cube up a little bit of firm tofu and throw that in along with some chopped green onion and some udon noodles, but don't break a sweat.)

Now that you are feeling all nice, chilled out, and relaxed, here is some irritating, sappy, kiddy J-pop (apparently extolling the virtues of miso soup) to snap you back to the harsh reality of life.

Pop Tart Martini

The last few days have been beautiful in Vancouver and it finally feels that spring has arrived. The sun is shining and the cherry trees are in bloom. I was in the mood for something festive last night so I whipped up something that was bubbly, but wasn't too sweet. However, it does go down very easily. Consider yourself warned.

Pop Tart Martini (It isn't made with toaster pastry but it pops, and it's a bit tart)
Ingredients
1 shot gin
1 shot pomegranate juice
1 teaspoon lemon juice
1 teaspoon simple syrup
1 dash bitters
ice
white sugar
2 shots sparkling white wine
2 shots Mountain Dew
Rim a martini glass with sugar. Put first 5 ingredients in a cocktail shaker over ice. Shake like you are having an epileptic fit. Strain into martini glass. Gently stir in sparkling wine and Mountain Dew. Make sure that you raise a toast to spring...

This recipe goes out to my buddies Lars and Phil who, at this very moment, are chatting on Facebook, joking about drunken heckling in the back of church tomorrow. You guys rule.

Speaking of Pop Tarts and Phil and Lars, I will leave y'all with this gem.

This last week has been full of disappointment and bad news so feeling really creative to come up with amazing gourmet dishes has been a bit of a challenge. But because my freakin' awesome wife, Joanna, IS SO HOT RIGHT NOW! she managed to do some serious menu planning and came up with a brilliant plan to make a delicious pasta dinner out of all the random things that we had laying around in our cupboard. This recipe comes from epicurious.com which is my web 2.0 ace card when I need a recipe. Check it out.

Palermo Pasta with Clam Sauce

• 5 tablespoons butter
• 6 caper-wrapped anchovies in oil, drained (1 1/2 tablespoons oil reserved), chopped
• 5 garlic cloves, finely chopped
• 2 10-ounce cans baby clams, drained well, juices reserved
• 3/4 cup dry white wine
• 1/2 cup whipping cream

• 1 pound spaghettini
• 1/2 cup (packed) sliced fresh basil
• Lemon wedges

Directions

Melt butter with anchovy oil in heavy large skillet over medium-high heat. Add chopped anchovy mixture and garlic and sauté 1 minute. Add clam juices and wine; boil 4 minutes to reduce slightly. Mix in cream and clams; set aside.

Cook pasta in pot of boiling salted water until tender but still firm to bite. Drain. Return pasta to same pot. Add sauce; toss over medium-high heat until sauce coats pasta thickly, about 5 minutes. Mix in basil; season with salt and pepper. Serve with lemon wedges. Turn on the Cure - Disintegration, slurp your delicious spaghetti, have a sip of wine, enjoy this one beautiful moment, and feel free to forget how much life sucks.

Thoughts about a tortilla...

I set up a Facebook group yesterday to let people know when I updated my blog and many of you have already joined and left kind messages and encouraging comments... except you Mary. Mary was bummed that I hyped up the taco's and did not actually give a recipe, so today this one is for you, Mary.

For me a good taco has to start with a good tortilla. My personal tortilla epiphany happened in the mountains of Guatemala in 1991. I was in the middle of nowhere on a missions trip and the local indigenous women made us fresh tortillas over the open fire. They passed us some little balls of dough and tried to teach us how to pat them out with our hands and then openly mocked us as the stupid gringos that we were. That day the scales fell off my eyes and my life changed forever because I tasted manna for the first time and I have been ruined for anything else labeled a "tortilla" ever since.

Nothing else has ever came close but the following recipe is the best that we can hope for (unless you are harbouring a secret harem of indigenous Latin women in your basement to do your evil tortilla bidding.)
Ingredients
1 cup white flour
3/4 cup masa mix (mexican corn flour, available at Latin markets)
1/4 cup brown flour
1 teaspoons white sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup butter or shortening
3/4 cup hot water

Directions
Mix together dry ingredients. Add shortening and use fork or pastry knife or even the tips of your fingers to work the fat into the dry ingredients until small pea-sized balls form. Gradually add hot water and mix until a stiff ball forms. Gently knead for 3-5 minutes, shape into ball, place in bowl, cover and let rest for 1 hour.
Then pinch off golf ball-sized pieces and roll into balls. Dust with flour, cover and let rest for another hour. When you are ready to cook, roll out into tortilla shape on floured counter with a floured rolling pin. Cook individually on a preheated super-hot cast iron frying pan until bubbles start to show on surface then flip over. (10 - 30 seconds/side) Eat while hot. Have a shot of tequila. Repeat. Listen to Pixies "Surfer Rosa" and continue alternating between fresh tortillas and tequila.

Taco Adventures

Over New Year's we were in San Diego to attend a wedding. Being the culturally sensitive types that we are, we had to search out some amazing tacos. Our friends Craig and Kay Charlotte hooked us up at their favorite place, Taco El Gordo.

Eleanor rockin' the quesadilla

Sophia drunk on taco awesomeness

As you can see from the pictures, Eleanor and Sophia ate their faces off. I decided to walk on the wild side and promptly ordered one heart taco, one brain, and one tripe.
The heart taco was surprisingly plain and boring.
The brain taco was bland and mushy. If you have texture issues, you should definitely steer away from this one.
But the tripe taco was AWESOME. It was a little bit crispy, full of flavor, and every time I bit into it, my tongue did a Mexican Hat Dance. Ole!

So next time that you visit your local taqueria, why don't you grab some cahones, be a man, and chow down on the spicy intestine. Make me proud, y'all.