Friday, February 16, 2007

The Trials of Bedtime and a Good, Stiff Drink

We are all slowly adapting to life as we now know it with our latest family addition. Sophia has been doing awesome and loves her little sister, but as expected, has been testing all of our parenting boundaries and rules. In my pop psychology, touchy-feely, I've-read-all-the-right-books, birth prep class intellect I know that this phenomenon is called "normalizing" but the rest of me wants to call it "Do as I say or I will shake you like a British nanny!" (That was a joke everybody. It is a little device we call... sarcasm. Please don't call any child protection authorities, ((by the way, Maria doesn't work there anymore.)) I'm not going to shake a specific cute little girl, although it has been very tempting the last few days.)

I have found the perfect device to get me through the preparing-for-bedtime-tribulation. It is called... the evening cocktail, and last night I perfected my recipe. I call it...
The Burning Ring of Fire. It is essentially a tequila martini, and here is the recipe for all you parents of toddlers out there.
The Burning Ring of Fire
1 shot tequila
1 shot vodka
juice of 1/4 lime
1 dash Tabasco Chipotle sauce
1 dash Tabasco Habanero sauce
1 drop liquid smoke (mesquite if you can)
fresh ground pepper
1 teaspoon chili powder
1 teaspoon salt
slice of lime for garnish

Mix chili powder and salt on shallow plate. Use this mixture to rim a chilled martini glass. In a cocktail shaker toss in ice cubes and add tequila, vodka, lime juice, hot sauces, and liquid smoke. Shake like a disobedient toddler. Pour into martini glass, garish with lime slice, and finish with a smidge of fresh ground pepper on top.

Warning: This is not your average pastel-polo-shirt wussy martini. It does not come with an umbrella. It tastes like kerosene distilled through a sulfur-fired blast furnace. It is deliberately designed to be strong, harsh, and uncomfortable to remind one that just like life, somethings are hard to swallow but the pleasant, lingering warmth afterwards makes it all worthwhile.

3 comments:

Angela Oliver said...

you are too hilarious

is there some fruity sensation that one could use instead for certain "trying" times?

There is just something about the burning ring of fire I would not like to experience.I think you know what kind of "ring" of fire" I"m talking about!!!???

Ummmm - also can you tell your wife that she is amazing please and we are SO sorry we haven't been able to make it back there to help you guys out.
soonish I'm thinking

Angela Oliver said...

oh and PS
I have been having a "HUGE" hunkering for Ribs.

Maybe we can make that happen sometime. I know You are busy so I will see what I can do to organize something along those lines

Any ideas where I could get some for all of us that could be maybe "half" as good as yours?

philter said...

you freaking rule